Pause

LOOKING forward to Sunday's show, not without trepidation though. I don't think that my heads been quite right recently about music, but there are cogs and wheels whirring in the background. I think that it will be a good show. Could have some surprises if a few ideas come off.

I have no idea if they or I will come off anytime soon. I seem to have turned into something of a passenger, but with a fair wind I will be fronting a new band as a side project soon and auditioning BoHo Scarecrow drummers over the Christmas break too.

I have put my house in order on a number of fronts in the last few weeks. Part of this was squaring things up with the bank manager, and so I have a lot more freedom of spirit in that direction than I have had for years. But its framework, and now I have to live within it.

I resurected the Lyric Wall over the week on the encouragement of the Mobile Oracle, who mysteriously and benignly seems to be guiding me at the moment. A strange relationship, but good to see what I have written recently next to me up on my wall. It has been an intense, engaging and often inspiring couple of months. Painful though too. I have had disappointments and know that I need simply to push through to Spring and survive.

I am enjoying some simple pleasures. Things like cleaning with my new flat mates. Lovely people. Bright and full of energy. I went out for dinner with my ex yesterday, and had a fantastic mexican nosh up near Covent Garden. It was first rate. I'm blessed to have kept a good relationship there.

The show on Sunday is at the Zenith Bar in Islington. Its a free show with voluntary donations to charity. One song keeps on running through my head, In Portland Gaol, the theme and origin of which I still seem find so painfully relevant.

You know, I have had the most tremendous amount of luck. I was discussing this with the Mobile Oracle a couple of days ago. I really can't complain. Who am I to argue if the package is a little torn. But I miss people. I miss Ken and Jill over in Ireland. I miss ex girlfriends and lovers. I seem to meet a fantastic number of people, but it is very difficult to build robust friendships. Most of all at the moment, I am trying to renew the relationships within my own family. We have been too distant; there is so much madness in the world today, so much pain and anger. I see it in people's faces and wish that I could take it away from them. Maybe not as altruistic as might first seem, I believe that I am seeking to replace my own.

We have snow in London today. Christmas is rapidly approaching and with it the end of the first decade of this millenium. I sit here and wonder what it will bring.

"Will there be music or will there be war, who will walk through the Mirror Door?"